“Things will change & you have to be willing to let them, let your children make their own mistakes at work; you cannot juggle for them.” – Ana Priyanka Gupta Zielinski.
“In a family business, cohesion is the most important indicator of success.” – Ana Maria MatallanaBoggio.
“You have to be able to compartmentalise & be able to swing between being a family business to a business family depending on the situation.” – Lea Boyce.
A family business is defined as any organization that is owned and managed by two or more members of the same family. Big names like Walmart, Oracle and Tata Industries are run by family members and have continued to flourish over generations. In my opinion, business with family is a mixed bag of emotions, family values, beliefs, memories, personalities, family patterns, childhood roles, generational family differences and the list could go on. The complex dynamics of working with family members are testing, but the results can be rewarding.
My husband and I have built several businesses for over 40 years. We have had our children work in our companies and I have worked with my siblings over the years at different times with the addition of coaching family members. All these situations have been challenging at times because another layer of experiences, energy and relationship is placed on this working dynamic when we work alongside family. In my Amazon Best-Selling Book: A High Heels Paradox, I speak about values and needs and why it matters to have our needs met. Actually, when we don’t have our needs met we really become needy! There is a Paradox right there.
In order to run a family business with degrees of flexibility, growth and sustainability, discussions and real life changes regarding self-identity and self-empowerment are essential to take place, to prevent yourself from being overwhelmed, feeling like you are stuck in old thinking along with the current self comparing disease, not to mention the topic I often speak about…tall poppy syndrome.. And self-empowerment is not an overnight venture; it calls for our true dedication and passion to become a successful businessperson. In this blog post, there are tips on how to empower yourself, I believe we need to remember that everyone has negative thoughts at different times, and that we all need to work on self-empowerment to be able to work along anyone to be able to achieve our dreams and be MORE in this chaotic world we live.
According to my numerous global conversations with women, they tell me that they feel they are not included in the decision-making process of family-owned businesses. Women often feel undermined by men, feeling that men say one thing to their faces and then often do something else. They say that they are willing to juggle the roles of a mother, wife and home manager and do a good job in the role they have in the business but often are confused and at times feel less than when they are not appreciated for the numerous hats they wear when changed from role to role.
What are some of the lessons I have learnt these past 42 years of being in a marriage and operating businesses with my husband and at times other family members?
1) Take time and have fun. Remember that work disagreements are separate from family relationships. Especially for marital teams, plan intimate dates and surprises to help rekindle the spark and build understanding on another level of who you are as a unit.
2) Negotiate on values in order to build visions, never negotiate on needs. What we need is what we feel never compromise our feelings.
3) Be courageous to speak up for what is working and not working in the working hours. Learn to speak as if you are speaking to a work colleague and not your family.
4) Be effective in communication and processes, so that tasks can be completed efficiently with the least amount of energy as possible.
5) Leave work at work, DO NOT bring it home.
6) Do not cross over roles and expect others to do so either. Often family members expect that the older brother will step in and find a solution, or the husband will step in and overwrite the wife’s comment or vice-versa.
7) Work on your own personal emotions, don’t work you “stuff” out on your spouse or father or anyone else.
8) Do not assume what a family member is thinking or feeling. Treat them how you would want to be treated.
9) Learn about food and nutrition to keep yourself healthy, our health alters our emotions, thinking and general self-esteem. Stay hydrated and alkaline food have a direct effect on all our relationships, specially the one we have with ourselves.
10) Develop your own interests and hobbies, this is especially important for husband and wife business teams. You cannot get everything from one person.
11) If you are working with your children, remember you do not own them. Do not use your willpower against anyone.
Are you a member of a family business?
What are your takeaways from this blog post?
Hugs Di Downie
