Assignment 1.



Learn to live with The Paradox in everything

This will change your view of the world.

To view our world from the perception that there is a PARADOX

To see, feel and hear the content and context of everything CHANGES our WORLD.

To view our world from the perception that there is a PARADOX CHANGES our Intensions.

To view our world from the perception that there is a PARADOX CHANGES our expectations.

A Simple yet Complex process for

uncovering and exploring further skills to live by in our chaotic times.


This process was designed originally in a booklet form for coaches to see into their clients life:


  1. The Paradox.
  2. Definitions.
  3. Examples.
  4. Loves That Drive Passions.
  5. Getting The Most from this Process.


Disclaimer: This booklet is designed to provide insights and steps into that matter that is covered. It is sold with the understanding that the author or publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting or other professional services to any person. If legal advice and/or other expert advice is required, the service of a competent professional should be sought. Please remember that this information is copyrighted. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored on a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by means of electronic, mechanical, photocopying and recording or otherwise without the prior permission of the copyright owner.



In this booklet you will:

  1. Learn definitions for clearer use of your language.
  2. Be given examples to stimulate your own passions.
  3. Learn the four common passions people are driven by.
  4. Identify your own passions.
  5. Learn how to get the most out of this process.


The Paradox.

 For every action, there is a reaction.


Paradox: For every action, there is a reaction.

For there to be an inside, there must be an outside.

For there to be a concave, there must be a convex.

For there to be an out, there must be an in.

For there to be an action, there must be a thought.

For there to be light, there must be dark.

For there to be love, there must be hate.

I have had people not want to accept that they may hate something. Hate is a strong word. Love is also a strong word. Many of us would like to think that love is all there is. There is no right or wrong or otherwise to this process. It is simply a self discovery process that will assist you to get more of what you want and more of what you love. As the old cliché goes: There are always two sides of the story.








  1. To thrive in.
  2. To feel an experience of desire. A strong affection, warm affection, enthusiasm or devotion. Can derive from a positive experience.




Intensive aversion, extreme dislike or antipathy.

To feel extreme amenity.

Usually derived from fear or a sense of injury.

There will always be the paradox to everything. When you love something, there will be a hate that will accompany it and often drive it.





The following are examples from people who have gone through this process.

Not every action needs to have an opposite reaction.

A LIST OF LOVES for your inspiration:    

I love to have ideas and action them

I love to learn.

I love challenges.

I love music.

I love to relax.

I love to drive fast cars.

I love my freedom.

I love money.

I love to spend money.

I love to buy for other people.

I love beautiful things.

I love to create.

I love excellence.

I love to be spontaneous.

I love abundance.

I love reading.

I love to be organised.

I love tidiness.

I love structure.

I love order and a plan.

I love to be on time.

I love to get it right.

I love to feel secure.

I love animals.

I love equality.

I love people to be honest.

I love to chat with my kids.

I love to be safe.


A List of Hates for your inspiration

I hate to feel stifled.

I hate to feel stagnant.

I hate long term routine.

I hate loneliness.

I hate to be forced.

I hate restrictions.

I hate to feel trapped.

I hate poverty.

I hate being trapped.

I hate to leave people out.

I hate inferior quality.

I hate mediocrity.

I hate to always plan.

I hate to be controlled.

I hate not making enough.

I hate mess and clutter.

I hate chaos.

I hate running by the seat of my pants.

I hate to be rushed.

I hate anxiety.

I hate to feel wrong.

I hate to feel insecure.

I hate to feel and see cruelty.

I hate intimidation.

I hate people to be dishonest.

I hate inequality.

I hate injustice.

I hate to feel unsafe.


Loves that drive passions.

There are four common core loves that have been used over the years working alongside of people.

As we are all individuals, you will be able to relate to each description. To know what it is that we hate will give us a deeper depth of love and passion. This love and passion is linked to our purpose and why we do what we do in everyday living.

By identifying our core hates, it allows us to see clearly as to why we react to certain situations giving us more choices. This identification also helps people to see why we have the jobs that we have.

To orientate our lives around what we have from what we hate allows us to have more of what we want. Some of clients have said that it has allowed them to have a feeling of abundance and self fulfillness giving them an easier way of living.

  1. Freedom:  People who hate being controlled live their lives striving to be free. Often, our great creators and innovators were people who loved their personal freedom and strived to obtain it. It is sometimes a struggle for these people to work to a plan or budget successfully when staying in long term relationship or is a challenge for these people. People who strive for their freedom will take the risk of saying what they need to say or will take the next job opportunity or business deal.

2.  Safety and Security: The people who love their safety and their security have said that their greatest fear is not to be able to pay the electricity bill and that the electricity will cut off their service. Their greatest fear is not being able to feed their family. The people who love security will do anything to stay secure and to stay an inversion of their feeling of insecurity. Often being rigid, these people don’t like the risks like the people who hate being controlled. Unlike the freedom lovers, these people will find it difficult to say what they need to say. They can be fearful that it will take their security away from them.


3.   To be included:  You will know someone who loves to be included. They are the best host or hostess. You feel like a queen or king when they are at your home. They are usually great listeners as they love to support other people, sometimes to the determent to themselves and what they really want, which is to be included. They include everyone in everything to the point that they can suffocate others. They hate to feel intimidated and not part of the team. They hate to feel alone and often will fill in life with tasks and even dramatic situations to keep them busy.

4.  Injustice is the main driver to people who love to spend time fixing everything. These people will strive for equality and protection. They love to see people being treated fairly. The paradox is that these people find it difficult to confront conflict as they hate hierarchy and intimidation. They will also fix situations with their diplomacy using language and manipulation.






Identify your passions.

Your passion and what you love are driven by your hates.

  1. List what you love.
  2. List what you hate.
  3. Match up your paradoxes. (Match up which loves and hates are driven by each other)

(NOTE:  Not everything will be on your list. This process is for your awareness only)


                                My list of Loves                                                                           My List of Hates


I love order and a plan.


I hate to be controlled.



I love to feel free


I hate to feel and see cruelty.


I love challenges


I hate to feel insecure.



I love to feel secure and safe


I hate to feel trapped.


I love tidyness


I hate inferior quality.



I love to learn


I hate inequality.


I love stimulating conversations


I hate injustice.


I love quality


I hate inferior services




My List of Loves                                                                            My List of Hates










Getting the most out of this process.

Have a check up regularly.

Staying aware of what you hate this awareness will give you more depth of what you love and a whole picture for you to make decisions from.

The growing awareness will give your mind more space to discover what you love – to love unconditionally.

Practise looking at the paradox in every situation. Every story has two sides. To acknowledge our dark side allows us to be more in our light side. To see why we react in certain ways that upsets us is often linked to something that we hate. For example, we hate being intimidated and that may be caused by us intimidating other people.

Set yourself up. This process will evolve with continuous awareness. Set yourself up to have more of what you love. Gather positive and aware people around you. Experiment with activities to discover what you love and what you do with mediocrity.

Stay out of mediocrity. Your level of excellence and compassion will grow as you do more of what you love and less of what you are not aware of. Often hating something is covered up with a numbness of “It will be okay.” or pure apathy or the fear of not being included.

Ban the tall poppy. Australia along with other developed countries grows The Tall Poppy syndrome. Allowing ourselves to do what we love will always allow others to do the same with support and integrity.


Education,  Awareness, Action will change your life.





Understanding YOUR actions caused by integrity starts with knowing what is important to you.

  1. What your values are.
  2. What to ask for when you need something.
  3. Being able to do what it is that you love to do.
  4. Knowing what your natural attributes are are building on those attributes with your skills.


Being aware of your PERSONAL STRUCTURE and holding fast to it, even when its not convenient or to your benefit, changes your life and everyones around you.


Ideas for you to keep your integrity firm within yourself


Keep your promises even if it takes extra effort.

Go back to a store and pay for something you forgot to pay for.

Never betray a friend’s trust even if you get in trouble.

Inform the cashier he gave you too much change back.

Do not gossip or talking badly about someone.

Do not fill my day everyday, give myself space to dream and ponder.

Remain true to your spouse or partner. Be honest!

Create discipline routines in my life so I can get what I want.

When in a serious relationship, don’t keep secrets from each other.

Return money that you noticed someone dropped without expecting a reward.

Ignore someone’s advice on how to cheat on your taxes and not get caught.

Do not name drop.

Do not let someone else take the blame for something you did.

Give acknowledgement to people even if at times it is not due.

Be empathetic, honest  and current in all my communications.  (Current means that you are not speaking from the past or the future)

Be aware of how I am judging people and situations.

If someone gives you confidential information, never tell anyone what you know.
When it is obvious to you a relationship is over, don’t drag it out but discuss it openly.

If you say you are going to do something, do it.

When your plans change let people, who are affected, know immediately.


Integrity in the Workplace

Work when you are supposed to and save socializing, snacking, searching the Internet and personal phone calls for break time and after work time

Show respect to co-workers with appropriate conversation and empathy.

Follow up on clients for feedback and change management.

If you are in management, keep your employees informed so they will know what is coming and what needs to be done.

Adhere to company policies and procedures.

Be responsible. Do what you say you will do.

Use materials for work and not personal use.

If you make a mistake and a team’s project gets messed up or you miss a deadline, own up to your mistake. Don’t let teammates take the fall.

If you make a mistake and a team’s project gets messed up or you miss a deadline, own up to your mistake. Don’t let teammates take the fall.

Work together as a team. This builds trust and shows integrity.

Never steal supplies from the workplace.

If you find yourself in a conflict of interest, get out of it as soon as possible.

Don’t accept praise of acclaim for someone else’s work. That includes stealing someone’s idea or pretending to have worked on a successful project.

When making a business deal, make sure everything is on the table and nothing was left out.

If your company asks you to do something against your personal code of conduct, refuse. If it means losing a good paying job, so be it. Find a more ethical ( aligned to you) company to work for.

Integrity Quotes

“Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.” – W. Clement Stone


“Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.” – Oprah Winfrey


“Perhaps the surest test of an individual’s integrity is his refusal to do or say anything that would damage his self-respect.” – Thomas S. Monson


“One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised.” – Chinua Achebe

“Doing what you love to do in the way you need to do it is Integrity”  – Di Downie

“You are in integrity when the life you are living on the outside matches who you are on the inside.” – Alan Cohen




Write down  12 Integrity Rules for you to live by:

(Keep in mind  that how you live morally in your personal life is the way you will live in your work world.  Also keep in mind that with each rule there will be the Paradox)




Make a video and upload it into the private facebook group. – “getting to know you”

What do you do?


Using Johaans Slide ( go back and listen to module 3 to do this exercise concisely)


Record a video on your phone, upload it into Di Downie’s Method Private Facebook Page.


The video is to be approximately 30 seconds long



My Name is ……..

I change lives

I take people from helplessness to hopefulness

I give people skills to think positively about their situation

I do this through my presentations on and offline, through my books and videos.


The structure of the video is:

Your name

What the results of your work are

How you deliver your work



If you do not intend to have a business or use this information in your employment directly and you are doing the mentoring program for personal development and life skills your video will be:



My Name is ….

My theme for the following year is ………

I intend to live through my theme by ( itemise the actions that you intent to carry out to create your theme)

POST                  PARTICIPATE                 AND BE PROUD