Linda was unhappy in her marriage with Jose. The last time I saw her made me feel miserable about her situation. But what was more miserable than her situation was her passiveness (or rather stubbornness) to save the marriage. She was angry, but she never tried to express what was in her heart. She felt disgruntled, but Jose had no idea. Communication was confusion, clarity was vague, values were baffled, and love was lost. Alas, separation won the case over love. I wish they could have given time to know their ‘WHY’ in life….!
I am sure many of you will resonate with Linda’s story! Sometimes, it is sad to see how we allow misunderstandings and egos to drive our major emotions and decisions in life. As human beings, we all are driven by the desire to love. We are driven because love is the foundation of our beliefs and values. And these are the values that ultimately give easy solutions to some of the major complications of life.
So what would have been the best solution to Linda’s problem?
Knowing your WHY!
You can choose to live a better life and create winning life stories with this golden rule- know your WHY! Be productive, creative and active. And know this fact that ‘better life always comes through better decisions and actions’. There might also come a time in your life when you would feel like quitting, giving up or consider walking alone. But to eliminate such thoughts, you again need to reconsider your ‘WHY’- knowing it better with much clarity and conviction.
How the understanding of WHY affects our decision making?
I have tried explaining this to you with a personal example but now understand the other side too- the professional decision making. Suppose your company is facing a crisis situation and you are the boss. You need the support of your employees because nothing else is going to help you now. So what will you do?
Option 1: Would you make a decision, impose it on the employees and ask them to implement it as soon as possible?
Option 2: Would you have a group meeting having each and every employee to express your concern, allow them to give suggestions and take a group decision for collective growth?
Consequences of Option 1:
The employees are likely to feel disgruntled.
They feel least involved.
Communication is passive and unclear.
They won’t actively support the decision.
Consequences of Option 2:
Employees feel the ‘sense of responsibility’.
They support the decision wholeheartedly.
They feel informed and involved.
Clear Values– Things that are important to us and matters in life!
When a person faces a situational crisis in life, they experience the power of energy, determination, courage and purpose to get the best answers. And only those who can understand their ‘Why’, are able to find clarity or meaning in their life. You need to see, feel and hear YOUR WHY.
Unlike any other animals, human beings need to know their purpose of survival otherwise; we can quickly find ourselves in the grip of distress, delusion, and despair. Maybe this is the reason why today there are increasing cases of drug intake, alcohol abuse, depression and even suicide. All because we lack purpose… and we lack to quest to know WHY.
Know YOUR WHY to channel your HOW!
You can gain a ‘larger-than-life’ perspective and some of the deepest insight into yourself by understanding your why. Find the answers to the following questions:
Ask yourself the ‘purpose’ of your life (or anything you are a part of like a relationship or job). Once you get the answer, write it down and fix your attention there.
Discover your innate strengths. This discovery will enhance your productivity, creativity and add more value and fulfillment to your life.
Channel your energy to the greatest values. Start doing things that you’re best at. It is the simplest practice to know your strengths and values.
Take a stand and measure your life. Stand for something… otherwise, you will fall for anything ! It is all about living with a purpose.
Define your ‘Priority’ list. Discover the list that you would love finishing as soon as possible and state why it is important to have those tasks.
Discover the truth that matters to you. Do a couple of things (like pursuing hobbies) together to discover what is most important to you. You will find your love this way.
To know your why, you need a small sentence or paragraph of ‘why you doing what you doing’. Check the video to get a clear picture about the ‘Know your WHY’ program. I have prepared this information with the help of my 30 years of experience and research in business and coaching. I have been using this program to facilitate and develop budding startups and businesses.
How to find the purpose of life?
The process is simple. All it takes to find the purpose of life is:
- A decision that you really want to understand your life’s purpose.
- The acceptance of change.
- The ability to write down things that you really love/enjoy doing
- Knowing what is important to you.
- The acceptance of oneself and to do what you love to do in a manner that you love to do it in.
- It’s not what we do, sometimes, it can be how we do it.
The Ground Reality: You think it is EASY….Right?
No… the acceptance for change is never easy! Just like our own selves, the world, a place, is full of exceeding expectations. Rather than understanding our WHY, we are more concerned about the rat race we are living in. ‘Too busy’ is the tag for us! It again reminds me of Linda, who was too busy to discover her inner strength, love, and affections. It reminds me of the bosses who ‘THINK’ they are too busy to talk to their employees.
Start examining your life through the lens of WHY and discover things that are important to you. Don’t overburden yourself under the harsh expectations of society and stay focused with your own expectations.
You will win the world this way!